Intersection of Chaos! Trenchoats and Jam!
by Bara no Mana Hime
Summary: Take two Kamuis, mix with one Sakurazukamori, sprinkle with a suicidal Omnyouji, WOOSH with a trenchcoat and a streetlight, ignite with a redhead, then smash into strawberry jam with ‘Almighty Hammer of Doom’™, shake well within the castle of Dios,


Fuuma and Kamui are standing on the corner of a once-busy (now demolished) intersection in the middle of the night. Fuuma is 'getting VERY friendly' with Kamui.   
  
Kamui: Gyah! F-Fuuma… Uhh…  
  
Author 1: Is he…Ummm…. 'Being Naughty'?  
  
Author 2: Sweat drops Fuuma! Don't be gay!  
  
Fuuma is spontaneously six feet away from Kamui. Seishiro then walks out from around the corner. Fuuma Griiiiiins as Seishiro smiles. They grab each other and 'relocate' to a nearby wall. The streetlight illuminating .the area buzzes and then goes out.   
  
Fuuma: Wooo!!!  
  
Author 1: Errr… S-S-S-S… Seishiro!!!  
  
Author 2: face faulting No! No! No! NO!  
  
Fuuma: Yes! Yes! Yes! YEEESS!  
  
Kamui: Sweat dropping and biting his nails. Errr… Ummm… F-F-Fuuma…  
  
Red head sitting on the streetlight: Oh! Yes! Baby! You light the fire in my heart…  
  
Author 1: Has googly eyes. Ooh….  
  
Author 2: GO HOME!  
  
Red head disappears and Subaru falls off of a building, and bounces off of the streetlight. It then turns on as Subaru lands next to Kamui. Then everyone (Except Fuuma and Seishiro) facefault. Fuuma and Seishiro stop, with the deer in headlights look, conveniently covered by Seishiro's trenchcoat.   
  
Seishiro: gestures at streetlight WOOSH!! Light goes out, again.   
  
Subaru pulls a large knife out of his trenchcoat and is about to stab himself.   
  
Kamui: Subaru! Don't! It's not that bad!  
  
Subaru: What's not that bad?  
  
Kamui: Fuuma and Seishiro… Isn't that why--  
  
Subaru: Fuuma and Seishiro? What are they doing?  
  
Kamui: Umm… Err… Well, uh… They… Kamui blushes.   
  
Fuuma: Ooh! Yes! Mmmmmm….  
  
Subaru & Kamui: Both sweatdrop Ummm…  
  
Fuuma: Oh! Yes! Now! Now! Nowww!  
  
Author 1: blushes madly HENTAI!! Summons the 'Almighty Hammer of Doom'™  
  
A very loud whirring sound can be heard as a very large object hurtles downward  
  
Fuuma & Seishiro: They both sweatdrop. Uh oh…  
  
Author 2: BAKA!!! Hits Author 1 with a 'Mini-Sized Almighty Hammer of Doom'™. Author 1 falls over.  
  
Author 1: Getting back up Ouchies!! What'd ya do that for??  
  
A wooden hammer the size of a city block comes into view, blocking out the sky, as everyone screams and runs around. Fuuma and Seishiro both have 'CENSORED' signs covering the important bits. The red head that was previously on the streetlight is now running around with Seishiro's trenchcoat.   
  
Author 2: Because of THAT! Points at large descending hammer.  
  
Author 1: Oi… Gomen ne... But it's okay! I have a Secret Escape Plan!  
  
The hammer is about eight feet off the ground. Everyone freezes in panic.  
  
Everyone: SAYONARA!!!  
  
The hammer hits. There is a very loud 'splat' sound heard resounding through the area as strawberry jam gushes out from beneath the hammer. An upside-down floating castle is seen flying away into the sky with EVERYONE inside it.  
  
Author 2: HOW DID THEY GET HERE?  
  
Red-Head: I'VE GOT INVERTIGO! I'M GONNA THROW UP!  
  
Kamui: FINE! JUST DON'T DO IT ON ME!  
  
Author 1: to Author 2 I DON'T KNOW!  
  
to the Red-Head WHY don't YOU find A BATHROOM?  
  
Red-Head: THERE AREN'T ANY BATHROOMS!  
  
Everyone: WHAT?  
  
Akio: He's right.  
  
Everyone: WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?  
  
Akio: sounding like William Shatner THIS is my HOME. WELCOME to my HUMBLE abode….  
  
Red-Head: mumbling Welcome to my parlor said the Spider to the Fly…  
  
Akio: face twitching and still sounding like William Shatner WHAT was that, TOUGA?  
  
Red-Head: high-pitched NOTHING!  
  
Akio: OH, Really…  
  
Author 1: Akio… Touga… Seishiro… Which one to choose? I WILL HAVE THEM ALL!  
  
Chaos stops for 5 seconds as everyone turns to look at her. Then Chaos resumes full force again.   
  
Author 2: SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE!  
  
Camera zooms out at the beginning of 'Here' on the flying upside-down castle while chaotic screaming continues. Flash 'The End' as soon as Author 2 finishes saying 'Here'. 


End file.
